I have to do…. math? I was an outdoor rec major for a reason! Who would think hiking for 5 months would require so much math. I am currently working on getting all of my food prepared ahead of time (note:—-> 5 days till I leave!) so I am a little frazzled at the moment, trying to calculate ingredients for 200 breakfasts, 200 lunches, and 200 dinners. It is a very daunting task, but I am determined to get this done in order to make for a more relaxing hike. By doing this I am avoiding weekly grocery trips in town. I like the idea of going into town as little as possible – really only for the biweekly resupply because I don’t have a lot of money to spend on restaurants and hotels. Plus, I am doing this to be outdoors. I think I will enjoy some rest days in the wilderness. I imagine camping by rivers or lakes for 1-2 days and swimming and getting clean while I rest my tired feet and legs. Most days will be spent waking to the soft light of dawn and hitting the trail, resting when necessary and even napping if I feel like it. I am starting the trail going about 10 miles per day but will work my way up to 20-25 making about 10 hours of hiking. I am determined to go at my own pace though, because this is about having fun – not about pushing myself beyond my limits. This is going to be an enjoyable and beautiful long hike through the mountains, deserts, and valleys. I often feel as though I have missed too many sunrises and sunsets being indoors all the time, now I will have the chance to see them every day for 5 months. This is one thing I am most excited for… I love to watch the sky and the land change colors as the sunlight begins and ends each day.

Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited, and I am very much so. But I have so many thoughts and emotions flooding me that I usually feel overwhelmed by them and can’t seem to filter through them before a new flood of emotions come. I think once I get on the trail my mind will calm and life will finally simplify and quiet down so that I may hear the trees flowing in the wind and the sound of my breathe as I take each step. Life is incredible, and I am so happy to be blessed with a healthy mind and body to take me to the places I want to go and gives me a vessel through which to feel joy. I am almost there… just keep swimming 🙂 I am so close!

Everyday hiking the PCT becomes less of an idea and more of a reality. Last night I said my last goodbyes to all of the people I worked with at Felicita Park and when I got home it really hit me that things are changing and I am in transition to something amazing and new. I was simultaneously sad and happy. I just cannot believe experiencing such positive goodbyes! They BBQ’d on my last day and everyone came (except for NICK – hope you’re reading this! haha). My bosses all had kind words to share about my time at Felicita and they all sent me off with hugs and smiles. It was a happy time and it was one of those moments in life that have been pretty rare for me, when I really feel accepted, appreciated, and like I am noticed for who I am. It feels great to be leaving on such a good note and I look forward to visiting and possibly working there again when I get back home in September sometime.

We all took ownership of the park. I loved it and smiled often at its beauty. I loved taking care of a place so special, so full of history, happy people, and wildlife. I was exactly where I needed to be during the short time I spent working there. I’m going to miss the coyotes and hawks, the menacing flocks of crows, the egrets and herons who caught gophers in the meadows (too bad they didn’t eat squirrels). I’ll miss the squirrels too, though and all the little hummingbirds who are with babies in their nests now, the cute duck pairs, and the crawdads in the creek. I’ll miss the oak trees and the woodpeckers, and the sweet little wrens who visited me at lunch on my “secret” rock. Most of all, I will miss the people I worked with. Each one of them contributed to who I am becoming, and I am so lucky to have known such good people with big hearts (even if they didn’t wear it on their sleeve, they can’t hide it from me). I love people. People make me happy and kindness and compassion spreads like wildfire. Here is to reality setting in! In 1.5 weeks I’ll be beginning my adventure on the PCT and during this wait I will be planning all my food resupplies and getting a few more things to carry in my pack. This ain’t no joke no mo!

It’s a very strange feeling that in just a few months I will be embarking on the adventure of my life. I have been in college for what seems like forever, I think it will be about 7 years when I graduate, not to mention a lifetime in school since I learned to speak! I don’t regret it, but school definitely has not always been the best part of my life – in fact much of it was the opposite. I was always the tiny sweet girl who was targeted by aggressive, self-conscious kids who had negative upbringings. Even as a little girl, there were other little girls who would tear me apart emotionally. This evolved on through middle school, and especially high school. Years and years of harassment made me even quieter to the distant eyes – but to my small, close circle of friends I was always colorful, loud, and joyful. That joy is what gave me strength, if I had not had that, I may be a beaten down person today. Though I am still sensitive and my confidence could use some work I do believe that those years in school made me a very strong and outspoken person. I also learned that everything anyone ever said/did to me was a reflection of their inner self which helped me define who I did and did not want to be.

I continued school despite the hardships, college was much easier. Everyone sort of did their own thing and kept to themselves, which I like to do so it has worked for me. I do not consider myself an “academic” person, but I am about to graduate college with a B.S. in Outdoor Recreation which is something I fell in love with years ago. I decided I wanted to be a “professional hiker”, whatever that is! Through my life I have battled the norm and my passions and love in life has been my real driver – not what the world says I should be doing. I know that life is not easy no matter what you do, but doing something you love is what makes life worth everything. I know that my life is going to me amazing after college. Finally, I can see the light and my freedom is coming. I am about to walk off into the wilderness.

The day after I graduate, I will be walking from Mexico to Canada on the Pacific Crest Trail – a ~2,655 mile hike. It sounds crazy, I know – but to me it sounds like I am finally going home. I am going to where I have wanted to be for so long. All those days in class, all those days at work – this is all I have ever wanted – AND I AM FINALLY DOING IT. It’s February, and I’ve just begun my planning process. I am spending my days dreaming about what it will be like. I have been hiking more to get back into shape and to get ready for some real training hikes coming up in April after I leave my job. Each time I find myself on a trail now I pretend like I’ve been hiking for days and that I am looking through the eyes of a thru hiker (on a 2 hour hike haha). I have been staying up late with my headlamp in bed reading Yogi’s PCT Handbook and learning as much as I can, or simply storing information in my brain for later. I am excited, and a little afraid. Can I do this? Yes, I can. But will I know that when I am alone and confronted with something very difficult on the trail? I want to make sure I keep my right mind and stay on the trail – the last thing I want to do is leave my job only to come home a month later. I AM going to do this, and I AM going to walk from Mexico to Canada on the Pacific Crest Trail!! Slowly but surely I am getting things together, I have asked my boyfriend to be my resupply support person because I think it will be a good way to stay connected and to have the experience of relying on him as my partner in life, even when we are apart. I have also asked my friend Julia to transcribe my journals for me as I mail them to her since I will not be using any kind of tablet for journaling. I really like the feeling of pen and paper and don’t think I will be as connected with my journals if I were typing them.

I have bought some gear but most of it I have already, so I am really only filling gaps and will probably have to replace some gear along the way. Money is somewhat of an issue – I expect to have about $3000 for the whole trip but I really need to start budgeting the purchases I am making so I know exactly how much I will have while on the trail. Unfortunately, all this PCT stuff is contributing to my huge lack of care for my 2 classes this semester. I really do not want to deal with them, and have the mindset of a graduate already – except I DO have homework, every dang week. I am so excited to graduate and celebrate my lifetime of education with the hike of my life, doing what I love and have waited for for so long.

I have also been using the PCT-L email list to ask lots of questions like how to thru-hike away from your lover and remain connected, how much underwear to bring, and other relevant inquiries. I am communicating personally with other thru-hikers and hope to be well enough prepared to hike my own hike once I hit that beautiful trail.

I wonder what my trail name will be….. 😀